Say Nothing
by emma4713
Summary: A timeline of the SawyerKate relationship. What went on in their heads throughout the seasons.


**Title:** Say Nothing

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Also, I only own the dialogue in the last two paragraphs.

**Author's note: **Sort of a timeline of the Sawyer/Kate relationship. What went on in their heads.

* * *

She saw a softness in him.

A quietness that could only be seen by someone who understood.

Someone who had the same quietness inside.

Someone like her.

* * *

He wanted nothing more than to be left alone. 

Well, there was something he wanted more, but he sure as hell wasn't going to tell _her_ that.

Not that she didn't already know.

Not that she didn't want the same thing.

That kiss proved it, even if she did elbow him afterward.

She came close to getting lost in that kiss.

He wished she had let herself go.

* * *

"I don't wear cologne!" 

"Yes you do!"

"Yeah…well."

She smiled. There was something about him when he got frustrated.

He tried to be so macho all the time, such an asshole. But there was something deeper, she knew. Something that wanted more than anything to fit in.

* * *

"I never killed a man." 

She looked at him, her face revealing something he couldn't quite see.

The bottle slowly reached her lips and she drank.

He followed suit.

"Well, looks like we got something in common, after all."

He knew there was more than that that connected them.

* * *

"There ain't anything on this island worth staying for." 

She knew it was a lie but it cut her all the same.

Ripped at her heart with the claws of a polar bear.

* * *

She scanned the beach but knew it was no use. 

She wouldn't get the chance to say goodbye.

She blinked into the sun and swallowed hard.

Time to run.

* * *

He felt hot. His skin burned beneath her touch. 

She held his hair back and pressed her lips to his forehead.

"Sawyer, hey, you have to listen to me, okay? The only way that you are going to get better is if you take this pill. So I want you to swallow it, okay? Okay, here we go." She put the pill in his mouth. "Now swallow, swallow. Good, good."

She lost her breath as he swallowed and closed her eyes, wishing hard.

Maybe he would be okay.

* * *

"That's just about the sweetest thing I ever heard." 

"Sawyer?"

"Who the hell is _Wayne_?"

Oh thank God. Thank God he was alive.

* * *

Her hands sifted through his hair. 

He closed his eyes and tried to remember to breathe.

He could feel her hot breath on his neck as she snipped a few pieces off and thought his heart might explode.

"Would you please turn your head?" she asked, exasperated.

"Why, you ain't got a clean enough shot at my neck?"

She laughed, which didn't help the tightening in his chest.

* * *

"Did you just throw a banana at me?" 

"Couldn't find any rocks."

"There are better ways to wake a man up, Freckles."

She rolled her eyes. Of course the first thing he thought of was sex.

And then he made her help him up. She rolled her eyes again but couldn't stop her heart from fluttering as he breathed down on her.

* * *

"If you touched a hair on her head I swear to God—" 

"Shut up!"

When he finally let her go, Sawyer caught her. He pulled the gag from her mouth and untied her hands and kept her close.

He wasn't going to let anyone take her away from him.

* * *

"I don't think this has anything to do with guns, or with getting your stash back. I think you want people to hate you." 

"Good thing you don't hate me Freckles."

It was. It was the best thing he ever knew. Though he hated she could figure him out so easily.

"Why do you have to do this?"

"You run. I con. A tiger don't change her stripes."

* * *

_God, why?_

She cried. It wasn't fair. It didn't make sense. This island was tearing her apart.

He heard her from across the room and quickly moved to her side.

She turned away but he pulled her into him. She cried, holding his arm.

He wanted to tell her it would be okay, but he knew it would be no use. How would he know if it would be okay, anyway?

So instead he held her close, silently, until she stopped crying.

* * *

He leapt up when he saw her, worry evident in his eyes. 

She looked lost, distant.

"You okay, Freckles?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Just swell, I requested _that_ cage…"

She smiled. They both thanked God that he could make her smile.

* * *

_Why not?_ he thought. _I mean, what the hell, right?_

Their threats didn't scare him, wouldn't stop him.

He threw his shovel to the ground and marched over to her.

She looked up, confused.

But when his hand wrapped around her neck and pulled her to him, when their lips met, she was no longer confused.

* * *

"You taste like strawberries." 

She smiled sheepishly. "You taste like fishbiscuits."

If there was a heaven, he was pretty sure it was wrapped somewhere in that smile.

* * *

She kissed him. She kissed him and buried her head in him. He swallowed hard, his cheek against her head. 

"What was that for?"

"I don't know." He pulled her head back and she looked up at him. "I don't know."

They stared at each other, her eyes pained and somehow begging. All he wanted to do was fix that, fix her, take away her pain.

They kissed hard and he took control, pushing her against the bars of his cell. After a moment he decidedly pulled back. His eyes asked her if she was sure.

She started unbuttoning his shirt.

He looked at her. This was happening. This was it.

He took off his shirt and locked her hands above her head, wrapped around the bars. Pausing a moment, he let his hands run down her body, claiming her for himself.

Her dress was off and she was in his arms, looking down at him, smiling and kissing him lightly.

He lay her down in the cell.

This was happening. This was it.

* * *

She was naked. Wrapped in his arms. His. 

"Lemme ask you something, Freckles…earlier, when Blockhead was beating on me, and you said 'I love you'…that was just…to get him to stop, right?"

She slowly pulled herself up, facing him in the dark. Her nose rubbed against his and she kissed him gently. He smiled as she curled into him once more.

"I love you too."

* * *

"Close your eyes, Freckles." 

"Stand up!"

"Close your eyes!"

"Don't you give up!" She sobbed. "No! No!"

No. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be. Not now. Not after she had finally given in. They couldn't take him away now.

* * *

She barely remembered escaping from the Others. They had run so fast and so far she had no idea where they were, how they had gotten there. She was exhausted, collapsed at the base of a tree. He stood near her, hands on his knees. Both breathing hard. 

"You okay Freckles?"

She nodded.

"It's gonna be fine."

She scoffed and glared at him. "And how the hell do you know that?"

"Because I love you, Freckles, and I'm not letting them take you away from me. I'm protecting you."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't need protecting."

He kicked a tree. Hard.

"Why can't you say it back?!"

She stared at him. Not exactly the response she was expecting. She thought she'd get a snide comment, some sarcastic remark. Nothing like that. Nothing real.

"Because the last man I loved _died_! He _died_ because I loved him. Because I needed him. And I don't want that to happen again!"

"You think not admitting out loud that you need me's gonna change anything?"

She was silent.

"I'd die for you."

Her eyes stayed downcast; she refused to look at him. Her voice was small. "That's what I'm afraid of."

"I love you Freckles," he said quietly. "You not saying it back doesn't change that."

* * *

Her stubbornness was burying the words inside of her. She wanted to say nothing, just to make him mad. But it was there. It was bubbling up and she knew she wasn't going to be able to stop it. 

She grabbed him suddenly and kissed him.

"I love you."

He grinned and said nothing.


End file.
